Dear Abby: Ghosted by gutter mouth pal

Dear Abby When my lifelong friend Cheryl and I would talk once a week to catch up with each other s lives she d describe her other friends woes in a really animated way including a loud voice and extremely vulgar words about those friends She even talked about her in recent times departed mother this way Her mother had not been part of her life for more than years but when she reentered the scene she had developed dementia Her mom s habit of vulgar talk was apparently where Cheryl picked it up The funny thing is when we talk in person Cheryl doesn t do it It s only on the phone I in recent weeks had a falling-out with an elderly friend Louise over a similar situation but it was politically fueled Louise would call me inebriated shouting nasty stuff about my political stance I ultimately hung up and blocked her on the phone Louise is and an admitted alcoholic Cheryl and I are not we are in our mid- s I decided to text Cheryl asking her not to use such vulgar language when we talk because it upsets me I grew up with a father who cursed and yelled a lot and I vowed not to talk that way I m not a prude Talking with these two women triggered memories of younger years Cheryl has now ghosted me My text wasn t mean or brutal Is there anything I can say to her to get my friend back or am I blocked forever Over and Out in Ohio Dear Over Because you couldn t handle Cheryl s language you were right to tell her how it made you feel and why As long as she s blocking you there is nothing you can say that will get through Perhaps it is just as well In my view folks who ridicule others are really not very nice at all Dear Abby I have a neighbor I will call Sheila Every year Sheila throws an over-the-top New Year s Eve party It is not even Halloween yet and she has already sent the save-the-date invitations My dilemma is I feel like I am boxed in to attending the party as I don t have my plans yet for New Year s Eve I d like to have the flexibility to be with my family or possibly attend a different type of event The party starts at p m and by midnight I m exhausted from standing and trying to make small talk at the large party I prefer a smaller group where we can chat and socialize easily Sheila has been known to keep track of people s comings and goings in and out of the neighborhood so I can t hide on New Year s Eve I wouldn t mind going for an hour or two but more than that is just torture Any advice Boxed-in In Florida Dear Boxed-in You are not trapped into doing anything you don t want to do A save-the-date card isn t a command performance Talk with Sheila and tell her your plans for New Year s Eve are up in the air and that you haven t decided whether you will spend it with your family but will let her know after you receive her formal invitation Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA