Harriette Cole: When my mother prayed aloud for my wife’s cold heart, we walked out. What now?

DEAR HARRIETTE At the end of the summer I went back home to celebrate my mom s birthday Since I got married and moved I don t get to see my family as often so I was looking forward to the quality time Related Articles Harriette Cole Did I make a mistake with the men at the bar Harriette Cole My teen s sports season was ruined and I don t know how to help her Harriette Cole This woman didn t belong in our VIP area Why wouldn t anyone kick her out Harriette Cole The bouncer rejected me and my friends went in anyway Harriette Cole I m ready to live like a grown-up but my best friend isn t We all got together at my parents house my siblings their families my wife and me for dinner and certain fun During the opening prayer my mom decided to pray for God to warm my wife s cold heart Honestly I knew there was specific tension but that was too far How could my mother insult my wife in a room full of people during a prayer She turned what was supposed to be a nice reunion into an awful memory When she revealed it I straightaway stood up turned to my wife and described her we were leaving My mom called me the next day but she tried to justify what she announced She refused to apologize so we haven t spoken since that phone call How can I rectify this Cold Heart DEAR COLD HEART Talk to your wife to find out the source of their discord Ask her to think hard about what may have happened to create such a negative feeling in your mother If your wife had selected role in offending or hurting your mother suggest that she apologize directly so that the two of them can move forward If your wife can t see what the dilemma is investigate further Request a conversation with your mother Ask her to explain what her beef is with your wife What happened that got her so upset and what can be done about it Suggest that no matter what it is the three of you need to get together to discuss and heal You must be proactive if not pushy here because your wife and mother are essential family members You need them to get along Say as much to them and ask them to try DEAR HARRIETTE I m supposed to be headed to a wedding this weekend but I m in a fight with my boyfriend He s one of the groomsmen in the wedding and a limited weeks back they took a bachelor s trip to Las Vegas When he got back from the trip he admitted to me that he d gotten a lap dance from a nude dancer I thought that was a violation of our boundaries He says he explained me only because he didn t think it was a big deal but for me it is a big deal I couldn t quite articulate why but it upset me My boyfriend has been busy lately prepping for the wedding but I think we should talk again before this weekend If I express my discomfort but he s not willing to leave those kinds of experiences behind is it worth urgent up with him Lap Dance Related Articles Dear Abby My neighbor is going to know if I try to escape her over-the-top party Asking Eric We used to be friends until camping took over her life Harriette Cole Did I make a mistake with the men at the bar Miss Manners Why do they resent it when I say I can t keep weight on Dear Abby I feel like reporting the neighbor kid s dangerous behavior DEAR LAP DANCE Talk to your boyfriend about boundaries Tell him how his behavior made you feel as you thank him for being honest about it Ask him how he would feel if you did something like that That may help him to understand your emotions better Agree on what acceptable behavior is for each of you and what you expect of each other Then trust that you both will live up to those values Do your best not to try to spy on him That will not help matters Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO