What your teenage son is really seeing on social media, according to new survey

CNN If your adolescent son is online he s almost certainly seeing content that promotes masculinity and suggests troubling things about girls according to research published on Wednesday Greater part boys see content about digital masculinity regularly which includes posts about fighting building muscles and making money according to a new Common Sense Media survey Boys with higher exposure to this kind of content have lower self-esteem and are lonelier according to the July survey of -plus boys ages to living in the United States These boys are also more likely to hide their feelings and believe they shouldn t express emotions such as by crying or showing fear Interestingly boys largely don t go online seeking this content disclosed Michael Robb lead author of the scrutiny and head of research at Common Sense Media a San Francisco-based nonprofit organization that helps parents and teachers instill critical thinking skills in children A small handful declared that they were literally looking for this Robb noted Sixty-eight percent disclosed that the content just started showing up in their feeds without them searching for it That s seemingly because algorithms have learned that adolescent boys are often receptive to such posts he announced Nearly all boys see messages about body image or appearance like dressing in a certain way and having clear skin according to the evaluation Those with high exposure to such messages are more than four times as likely to say social media makes them think they should change their appearance And the majority boys also regularly see content promoting gender roles in problematic avenues such as posts suggesting girls prefer to date a particular kind of guy or use their looks to achieve their goals according to the survey The results are especially worrisome to me because my research suggests that when negative messages about women and girls are normalized online it can cause offline violence Boys social media use has been fairly understudied in the past Robb stated Here we re documenting how the algorithms that kids are a part of are specifically shaping their identity during this really crucial period of adolescence which is a time of identity formation Robb acknowledged the survey couldn t prove the teens social media use caused particular effects however He also stated the findings could have underestimated the extent to which boys have adopted masculine beliefs because those who hold these views may not have been willing to admit in the survey that they were experiencing emotional struggles or feeling vulnerable Thankfully parents can help their adolescent boys process what they re exposed to on social media in healthy avenues and counteract the negative effects Talk about digital masculinity First assume your kids will be exposed to this kind of content noted Melissa Greenberg a clinical psychologist at Princeton Psychotherapy Center who was not involved in the investigation Even if we monitor and limit what our kids see at home they will be exposed to content we are not aware of in other settings and through friends and peers she announced via email So talk to your teens about it You can start by asking them what they re seeing online One secret tip is that kids are certainly quite excited to talk about their media use Robb disclosed If these conversations feel uncomfortable try having them in the car announced Justine Carino a Westchester New York-based psychotherapist who treats young people and was not involved in the examination Sitting side by side is less threatening than direct eye contact and being in a contained space helps teens feel safe opening up she reported CNN in an email Teach teens to question what they see Explain why we should question what we see on social media Greenberg revealed When we see things online especially when we see the same messages again and again or we see posts that get lots of likes we may implicitly believe them she stated We may not even realize that this is happening If a child seems to have accepted specific of the troubling messages they ve seen don t just say they re wrong We may have knee jerk reactions to these problematic messages and may be tempted to shut them down instantly Greenberg stated However this may backfire as it may teach your child that you don t understand or that they can t talk to you about their questions about these ideas Instead try acknowledging that social media content can be very convincing especially when people we like share it Give them an example of how this happened to you and question things together by saying something like ever since I was a kid I ve seen TV shows and movies where boys are shamed and made fun of when they cry or show emotion Greenberg revealed But why should that be the scenario Is it really true that emotions make us weak Can we see this from any other perspectives With so much misinformation on social networks these kinds of conversations can impart essential life skills that adolescents need so they can figure out whether to believe other things they hear or see such as purported news reports Parents should also stress how safe it is for kids to come to them to talk about these things or anything else anytime Carino declared And mean it when you say it Cultivate strong role models and communities One reason boys consume this kind of social media content is that they re actively seeking connection or inspiration or guidance because these are things that are developmentally major to them at this stage Robb commented They re kind of fundamental developmental necessities Parents can help kids meet these requirements in healthy strategies offline The investigation detected that kids who had at least one person they could go to offline for endorsement had better mental physical condition outcomes Robb explained He suggested cultivating positive role models for boys such as parents family members teachers coaches or scout leaders Boys need to hear and see that men in their lives can express a wide range of emotions and then there s a lot of different means to be a man and not to be so rigid about how boys and men are supposed to act or emote he revealed Also make sure boys are part of physical communities by participating in things like theater or sports Robb declared Be creative For example if a boy enjoys gaming that doesn t have to be a solitary activity he disclosed There are local gaming clubs esports teams or coding classes and robotics teams all kinds of things that can combine interests with face-to-face interaction Yes this latest research suggests that majority boys are seeing content about masculinity negative ideas about gender and body image and that those who consume more of this content appear to have worse mental soundness outcomes However parents can use this opportunity to talk to kids teach them to question what they see online and ensure they have strong role models and healthy offline exercises Social networks may be pushing potentially harmful content on teens but we can push back with better offline experiences