Miss Manners: Should the boss go to the wedding despite this rudeness?

DEAR MISS MANNERS My husband was invited to the wedding of one of his employees sons The invite was clearly addressed only to him and did not include me Related Articles Miss Manners The phone call took a sudden shift in tone and I think I declared the wrong thing Miss Manners The bride is already mad at people and I don t want to be on that list Miss Manners Should we give any warning before our shiny new fence goes up Miss Manners This evil woman will be at the funeral and I need to know my options Miss Manners I backed out of their birthday trip Do I still have to pay Over the years my husband and this employee have had issues with their working relationship which ultimately caused me to stop speaking to her He does not want to attend the wedding because I was not on the invitation How should he respond to this rude situation GENTLE READER By saying that he regrets that he is unable to accept their kind invitation Yes Miss Manners knows that you do not consider it kind The omission was wrong whether or not it was related to those altercations as was the employee s failure to understand that this is not a business occasion But Miss Manners is trying to keep you from making the working relationship even worse DEAR MISS MANNERS My husband and I regularly host events at our home for groups from five to people We all have a wonderful time and enjoy one another s company However there is one guest who constantly makes an offhand joke about something in our home or the way I run my kitchen Things like This is the dumbest dish I ve ever seen or Why do you constantly do things this way She thinks she s being cute and funny but I find it hurtful I pride myself on being a good hostess and providing a calm place to let people unwind I work very hard to make my home inviting How can I approach this person without seeming rude or insulting I never want anyone to feel uncomfortable in my home GENTLE READER The way to kill a tasteless joke is to take it seriously So the answer to the dumb-dish remark is I m so sorry it offends you let me take it from you And to the doing-things-this-way remark the response is Are you uncomfortable being here Is something the matter The response will be I was only joking To which you reply Oh What s the joke Miss Manners promises that you will not have to do this long before you get an exasperated Oh never mind Difficulty solved DEAR MISS MANNERS About six months ago I lost my beloved husband after years of marriage At the five-month mark I took off my rings having realized that they were fairly tight I ve decided to leave them off permanently This is not a sign that I want to date again or a sign that I didn t love my husband It s exclusively practical Related Articles Dear Abby I m mortified that I walked into the room as this man was dying Asking Eric She s upset that we don t want her boyfriend in our guest room Dear Abby They seem to think I should be happy with a potato Asking Eric Should I tell what I heard about why my nephew didn t get the job Harriette Cole When I complain about the hazing at work they say my generation is soft I ve been advised that the proper move would have been to wear them on my right hand I don t want to wear them on my right hand and even if I did doing so would have required all three rings to be resized What are Miss Manners thoughts GENTLE READER That your advisers should mind their own business Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO