Harriette Cole: My uncle says the crash was an accident and he won’t pay for my car

DEAR HARRIETTE My uncle of late crashed my car while borrowing it Thankfully no one was hurt but the car has essential damage that will be expensive to repair Related Articles Harriette Cole He has planned a great date Why am I too nervous to go Harriette Cole My wife has particular words about our friends blatant sponging Harriette Cole I didn t have for her private chef and now my friend is mad at me Harriette Cole My husband wants another kid but for my own well-being I must say no Harriette Cole I haven t gone back to the office since this embarrassing case I expected him to help cover at least part of the cost but he refuses insisting that since it was an accident he shouldn t be responsible This has put me in a tough financial position and I m stressed about how I ll pay for the repairs On top of that the situation is causing tension in the rest of the family relatives are taking sides and now no one wants to get together I want to handle this fairly and maintain a good relationship with my uncle but I also feel like it s unreasonable for me to cover everything alone I ve tried bringing it up calmly but he brushes me off or makes excuses I don t want this to affect our relationship in the long term but I also don t want to be taken advantage of How can I approach him about taking responsibility without escalating the conflict or creating more tension within our family Bad Uncle DEAR BAD UNCLE Get an estimate for the cost of repairs to your car and present it to your uncle Tell him you need him to split the cost with you as he is the one who had the accident with your car Honestly he should be paying for the whole thing as he was driving your car If he refuses you may have to take serious action by taking him to small maintains court He should bear responsibility for this expense Even if he or other family members get angry do your best to force him to help pay for the damages DEAR HARRIETTE Summer is over but I feel like my staff is still working at less than full maximum Every year I give them time off during the summer which usually includes half days off on Fridays and shorter hours The expectation is constantly that they will crank it up when the fall comes It seems though that everyone is asleep at the wheel so to speak I ask for projects to be completed or for someone to follow up on various work and I find myself asking three and four times before getting a response This is frustrating It feels like I m being penalized for giving them various much-needed time off this summer How can I get them to crank up their vitality Ramp It Up DEAR RAMP IT UP Host a cheerleading session with your organization Highlight good things that occurred this summer including time off to enjoy the season Point out what s ahead including projects pitches and anything else that is on the horizon Connect the dots by letting them know that they are integral to the success of the business and you are counting on them to give it their all Related Articles Dear Abby He died in my house and I feel so guilty Asking Eric People say I m rude Should I tell them why that is Harriette Cole He has planned a great date Why am I too nervous to go Miss Manners Why should I read other people s thoughts about my dead husband Dear Abby Am I out of line to clean my hosts house Do your best not to chastise them for being uninspired That will make them less interested in getting energized Your job as the leader is to motivate them to want to work harder If you have the budget and inclination you may want to add incentives such as the first person to reach a particular goal gets a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant or something else that they value If they can t turn it around perhaps you ll need to consider changing your plan on summer hours next year Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO