Harriette Cole: My neighbor is leaving me unsettling notes

DEAR HARRIETTE I moved into a new apartment building lately and while I love the location and my unit I ve been having a tricky time with one of my neighbors Related Articles Harriette Cole Should I tell the bride why I m uneasy Harriette Cole My neighbor s bossiness about parking has gotten out of hand Harriette Cole My boss follows my social media and I don t know what to do Harriette Cole After my wedding she blasted me as pretentious Harriette Cole I threw myself into planning our parents party and this is what I got They frequently leave passive-aggressive notes about noise even when I m careful to keep my music low and avoid loud programs Sometimes the notes feel exaggerated or unfair and it s starting to make me anxious every time I move around my apartment I don t want to start a confrontation or create hostility but I also don t want to constantly tiptoe around my own home or feel guilty for entirely living my life I ve considered introducing myself in person to smooth things over but I m nervous that could backfire and make the tension worse I also worry that the building management won t take my side if it escalates and I don t want this situation to affect my enjoyment of my new home I just want to find a way to coexist peacefully without feeling like I m walking on eggshells every day How can I handle this situation in a calm respectful way that sets boundaries preserves my peace and prevents further passive-aggressive behavior No More Notes DEAR NO MORE NOTES If you know where the notes are coming from consider leaving a note for that person saying you are making an effort to be mindful of your surroundings and you would appreciate it if they would stop with the notes If you don t know who it is leave a note on your door for them stating the same and suggesting that you hope you two can live harmoniously as you love your new home DEAR HARRIETTE I booked a vacation with a group of close friends months ago and I ve been looking forward to it However in recent times I ve developed a fear of flying and the thought of getting on the plane is making me anxious I m worried that my anxiety could ruin the trip for me and I feel torn because I don t want to cancel and disappoint my friends or miss out on what should be a fun experience I ve tried to prepare myself by reading articles about flying safety and even practicing relaxation techniques but my fear keeps getting worse as the movement date approaches I feel guilty admitting this fear to my friends because I don t want them to think I m being dramatic or letting them down At the same time the idea of sitting on a plane fills me with dread and I m not sure how I can manage it without professional help Should I try to push through my fear and go risking panic or discomfort or should I be honest with my friends and possibly back out even though I know it may disappoint them How can I handle this situation in a way that respects both my mental physical condition and my friendships Fear of Flying Related Articles Miss Manners My online photo ban draws a confounded response Dear Abby My husband s negativity is dragging me down with him Asking Eric I feel like I should description my neighbor before he hurts someone Harriette Cole Should I tell the bride why I m uneasy Miss Manners I think it s hurtful to ban children from weddings Our pediatrician agrees DEAR FEAR OF FLYING Do two things now Tell your friends what s going on with you It would be far worse to get to the date and your plans backfire and they have to absorb the cost of your absence Second get a therapist to help you work through your fear Try to figure out the source of your anxiety so that you can release it even if it takes longer to resolve than your departure date Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO