Harriette Cole: Is it a red flag that he follows his ex and likes her posts?

DEAR HARRIETTE I in recent times noticed that my partner still follows his ex on social media and not only that but he still likes the majority of her posts Related Articles Harriette Cole My neighbor is leaving me unsettling notes Harriette Cole Should I tell the bride why I m uneasy Harriette Cole My neighbor s bossiness about parking has gotten out of hand Harriette Cole My boss follows my social media and I don t know what to do Harriette Cole After my wedding she blasted me as pretentious They ve been broken up for two years and from what I know she was the one who ended things It s not like he s leaving flirty comments or anything inappropriate but I can t help but feel uneasy every time I see his name under her photos Part of me feels silly for even caring after all everyone stays connected online these days but another part of me wonders why he s still keeping up with her so closely I haven t reported anything yet because I don t want to come off as jealous or controlling especially since everything else in our relationship feels solid but it s definitely bothering me more than I d like to admit I can t tell if I m overreacting or ignoring a red flag I keep telling myself it s just social media but I also know how small habits can sometimes reveal bigger feelings It s starting to make me question whether he s truly over that relationship or just hasn t fully let go Should I bring this up and danger sounding insecure or just let it go and try to move on from it quietly Tethered to Ex DEAR TETHERED TO EX How do you know this Do you follow his ex on social If you are aware of this because you have been snooping trust that he will react to that vigor The larger question is What is worrying you If you sincerely wonder if he is over his ex ask him When he asks why tell him you have seen how attentive he is to her social media Be prepared for a bit of alarm from him as to your motives but push for honest dialogue about their status DEAR HARRIETTE I ve been complaining about my husband incessantly and for good reason there is a long list of approaches that he has messed up our life but I m starting to notice that I have my own stuff that necessities to be addressed He is not the only bad guy in a way How can I face up to my issues without creating vulnerability for me when I m talking to him Honestly I don t know if we can make it and I don t want to give him ammunition to make life more intricate for me if we do break up On the Precipice DEAR ON THE PRECIPICE If you feel you are headed to divorce talk to him about that directly Put your cards on the table and begin to discuss a way to end your marriage and move on Related Articles Dear Abby We want to punish our granddaughter for using her stepdad s name Asking Eric My friend s husband put cameras in the guest room Dear Abby They say my new boyfriend would be such a good dad but I m almost Denied boarding and stranded overnight Why won t Air Canada cover my hotel bill Asking Eric The wedding tiara dispute blew up into a war with the bride If you think there s a chance you might stay together tell him about your realization of your own shortcomings Chances are he is aware of them even if you two have never discussed them By being forthcoming about what you now see you need to work on you may be creating space for the two of you to work together on your marriage instead of pointing fingers Vulnerability is an essential part of advance Being fully honest about yourself and each other may be the medicine you both need to address your issues and work toward finding a way forward You married this man Is your relationship worth making every effort to fight for your bond before you give up Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO