Harriette Cole: I paid her to cat-sit and came home to a disaster

DEAR HARRIETTE I was headed out of town for a limited days so I inquired a trusted friend to house-sit for me Related Articles Harriette Cole My co-worker complains that I make everyone s job harder Harriette Cole I was hurt by her emoji response to my heartfelt message Harriette Cole Do I need to tell my husband how I know about his affair Harriette Cole Was this lunch happening a red flag about my new friend Harriette Cole Yes I have big feet but what about her eating disorder In the past when I had only one cat I d take him to my mom s until I got back but now that I have two I thought it might be easier to leave them in their home and have someone come over and be with them until I returned I requested my friend who is familiar with both of my cats and I insisted on paying for her help Upon my return from vacation I located my cats water bowls altogether dry and their litter boxes out of control so much so that they d had to handle their business in other places in my home and my garbage was at limit If I had known my friend wasn t going to care for my cats I could have just left them home alone I wouldn t have paid someone to be there and do nothing How do I address this with my friend The House Sitter DEAR THE HOUSE SITTER If you haven t paid your friend yet don t You made a business transaction with her and she failed to hold up her end of the bargain to the detriment of your cats and your home Tell your friend how shocked you were to come home and see the neglect and disarray that she left If she wasn t going to do it she should not have agreed in the first place DEAR HARRIETTE About a year ago my daughter demanded if I might hire her boyfriend who has taken a nontraditional path after high school Instead of pursuing college he decided to explore a exchange He s a bright kid and a fast learner so she thought it might work if he were my apprentice I specialize in bathroom restoration mainly for large corporate offices even an apprentice is paid quite well Despite his success I fear that his nontraditional decisions are influencing her She took a gap year after high school and now that she is in college she continues to find reasons to want to leave She thinks because her boyfriend is doing fine without a degree she can do the same My daughter and her boyfriend are still young I don t want to tell her what to do but I don t want her following a young man s lead without a plan of her own College may not be for everyone but every adult requirements a plan and specific goals for their life How can I knock specific sense into her Off the Beaten Path Related Articles Dear Abby She insulted my kids but my husband says we need to fix things with her Asking Eric I cringe when my wife starts inquiring about the in-laws Harriette Cole My co-worker complains that I make everyone s job harder Miss Manners Should we invite them both and brace for drama Dear Abby My daughter opened the package of family photos and now we re not speaking DEAR OFF THE BEATEN PATH Gently encourage your daughter to focus her lens on herself Has she dreamed about anything that she wants to do with her life What are particular possibilities that she has considered for herself If she has declared a major encourage her to talk to an adviser at her college to learn about career trajectories in that field Perhaps she can secure an internship to expose her to work options It s never a great idea to compare yourself to others especially a boyfriend but be careful as her dad not to get between them Just keep helping her proactively figure out what she wants in her life and go for that Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO