Harriette Cole: He has planned a great date. Why am I too nervous to go?

DEAR HARRIETTE I haven t dated in a while I in recent times met someone quite casually in New York City and he expressed interest Related Articles Harriette Cole My wife has selected words about our friends blatant sponging Harriette Cole I didn t have for her private chef and now my friend is mad at me Harriette Cole My husband wants another kid but for my own well-being I must say no Harriette Cole I haven t gone back to the office since this embarrassing affair Harriette Cole He wasn t a good boyfriend so why can t I forget him I had totally forgotten we d exchanged numbers until he FaceTimed me a meager days later To my surprise he was quite the conversationalist He was thought-provoking attentive and curious He reported me that he would make plans for us and he stuck to his word He reached out currently saying he d like to take me out this evening He made reservations for us to go to dinner and bowling and he would like to pick me up Everything sounds great I ve complained about people lacking initiative in the past but now that I m faced with it I m too nervous to go Have I stayed out of the dating battle too long Why do I feel so anxious about something that seems to check all the boxes Nervous Wreck DEAR NERVOUS WRECK You may be feeling he s too good to be true Step out of your comfort zone and agree to go out with him If his big plan seems too big suggest that you start with coffee or a walk in the park Take it slow and find out if he s enthralling enough to let your guard down a bit DEAR HARRIETTE I was riding the subway during an off-peak hour There were a scant other passengers in my train car but still a lot of empty seats A minimal stops into my ride a seemingly unhoused person got onto my train and as he sat down four or five people got up and switched their seats to move away from him I was already on the other end of the car but I saw it all happen This person then got up and snapped at everyone yelling I m a person too It was quite sad to see While I didn t do it that day I m guilty of having moved away from certain people in the past What can we do to be more mindful of how we treat others in circumstances like this Be the Change DEAR BE THE CHANGE A great humanizer in a large city with inhabitants transportation is that you will be in the company of people who live in a variety of circumstances that may be different from your own It can be easy to ignore them or attempt to distance yourself from them especially in crowded areas but as you witnessed people notice when others back away Related Articles Miss Manners Why should I read other people s thoughts about my dead husband Dear Abby Am I out of line to clean my hosts house Asking Eric How do we talk to our neighbors about their baffling parking routine Dear Abby The minister s surprise marriage left me hurt and heartbroken Asking Eric I m ready to leave my wife over her dodgy expenditure Does that mean those people should have stayed in their seats Not necessarily If someone enters your space on the train or elsewhere and their smell or demeanor is unsettling you have the right to move You can even move just because you want more room if someone sits next to you and crowds you What you should do however is to tap into your humanity first If you have something to offer such as a piece of fruit or a bottle of water and the person is obviously in distress quietly offer it Let your attitude be one that shows that you honor the dignity in the other person even if you move away Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO