Dear Abby: Teen daughter wants to live with dad
Dear Abby I am a mother of three girls and about to be My youngest has perpetually lived with me Her father and I separated when she was They consistently had a good relationship Over the last couple of years after he moved to another state and married our co-parenting relationship has changed for the worse My youngest has consistently complained about spending time with him Sometimes she came home crying because she didn t want to go with him She s a freshman in high school now and out of the blue she narrated me she wants to live with him and finish high school in that state This has broken my heart I don t want her to leave me She tells me it s because the schools are better there which will help her get into a good college I don t know if my ex has announced anything to her or if that s really what she wants I don t know how to handle this I feel I am losing my child All of my girls have dependably lived with me and the older girls have yet to leave me Nervous in New Jersey Dear Nervous Are you and your ex not on speaking terms You might gain particular insight if you talk with him and his wife about the quality of the schools in their area not to mention if they re open to having full-time custody of your daughter You and your youngest should be having a series of conversations about this major change in her life The talk should not be about you and your fear of losing your baby It should revolve around her plans for college and how she plans to achieve that goal Although your daughter is young plenty of parents would feel proud rather than threatened by their child giving serious thought to her future at such a young age Dear Abby I am one of three sisters Our family is pretty close-knit for birthdays and celebrations However it has become increasingly problematic in terms of finances My siblings and I do well and it s often assumed that I am doing very well I know I am favored to have my job but with this income comes sizable expenses such as private school sports clubs and my own children s birthdays My obstacle is my middle sister contacted me about hosting a celebration for our younger sister s approaching milestone birthday Over the years it has frequently fallen on our shoulders to finance her birthday celebrations Her husband never lifts a finger or offers to pay for them I m tired of having to foot a bill of between to but I don t want to be a grinch either I have my own family expenses Am I being unreasonable Drained Sis in California Dear Drained Sis You are not being unreasonable you are stating facts Have a frank talk with your middle sister about your feelings Tell her you think it s time for the two of you to approach this brother-in-law and suggest he pitch in for his wife s milestone birthday And in the future if you plan to host any more birthday parties for her make them more modest Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA
