Dear Abby: Reconnecting with ex ignites old spark

Dear Abby My son is He has had certain problems in recent months that were so serious I reached out to his father His father and I were teenagers when we had him so the last time we spoke was years ago Our relationship was really toxic which is why we split when we were young We both had other children Since we ve begun talking again we have shared that the relationships we re in now aren t good Mine is verbally and emotionally abusive He used to be physically abusive until two years ago Abby all my feelings for my ex have come back and he says he feels the same We re different people now We haven t taken it any further than talking and texting I m so confused I don t know if I should end the relationship I m in and give it another go with my ex or leave it alone Hopeless Romantic in Texas Dear Hopeless Romantic You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by ending a relationship that s emotionally and verbally abusive If your ex is sincere about what he has been telling you he may want to end his unhappy relationship as well IF you decide to move forward with what you re considering I STRONGLY urge you to get to know him first Couples counseling can help you accomplish it considering the baggage you are both carrying from the first time around Dear Abby While we were growing up my father was abusive toward me and favored my younger sister He commented she was too dumb to be productive so he pushed me mercilessly punishing me when I wasn t perfect and mostly left her alone As an adult I in the end uncovered the strength to ask him to treat me right I suggested we go to family counseling to improve our communication My father agreed initially then explained he was too busy he s retired and refused to go He then cut me off and publicized to the family that he was disowning me My sister believes his story that I cut him off Since she was never treated poorly she doesn t believe that I was How can I continue my relationship with her while she remains close with him Estranged in Florida Dear Estranged You can try to get other family members who remember the dynamic between you and your father to vouch for the fact that you are telling your sister the truth However if that s not doable and you want to maintain a relationship with her then you will have to agree to make the subject of Dear Old Dad something you do not discuss Dear Abby How should I respond to close friends a couple who are extremely nosy In recent times the husband solicited me if any of my siblings are citizens of the country my now-deceased parents emigrated from When I replied no he proceeded to ask me why I was caught off guard by his rudeness and couldn t answer They both do this I have mentioned previously that I m very private about my family yet they persist How do I stop this rude behavior Nosy Friends Dear Nosy The next time you are solicited something you feel is none of their business respond by saying Why do you ask And when they answer say That s very personal and change the subject Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA