Dear Abby: Recent widow wants to start dating

Dear Abby I lost my husband two months ago after a long debilitating illness I loved him very much and the loss was very arduous although not unexpected After his funeral an old friend called me offering condolences He had lost his wife last year after a long illness and he understood what I had been through We both had lost spouses after marriages that had lasted years We remain in touch and would like to start dating On one hand I feel I gave my husband everything I had to give while he was alive On the other hand I don t want to be disrespectful to him my children and my husband s family Is it too soon Ready Now in Texas Dear Ready While there is no strict timetable for grieving and you may have started processing your loss before your husband s actual death I do think that after only two months you may be jumping the gun a bit Take as much time as you need to get to know your old friend again There s nothing shameful about being seen with someone who is offering condolences and emotional backing In another six to nine months his presence will no longer shock those who love you and would like to see you happy Dear Abby My sons are married and live quite a distance from me I try to visit several times a year because I want to see my grandchildren as often as I can Sometimes I stay with them other times I rent an Airbnb The challenge is that I am a neat-nut When I m at their house I empty full sinks of dishes clean bathrooms sweep floors polish mirrors windows dust furniture etc I ll even do laundry if they want I do ask if they mind if I clean up a bit as they all work and have little time for this They usually say Sure But lately I m feeling they regard this like I think they re dirty and they say that cleanliness is not a priority in their lives OK I get it I have decided to stop this activity when I m there Am I wrong to want to help out Just wondering if I m out of line here Does anyone else do this Neat in North Carolina Dear Neat Because you are being stated that cleanliness is not a priority in their lives it seems your efforts may not be appreciated Yes specific other people do what you have been doing These folks have also been known to rearrange the furniture in other people s homes without being questioned to do so Is being helpful under these circumstances the right thing to do I don t think so In fact it could be considered obsessive-compulsive TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE ROSH HASHANA Tonight at sundown the Jewish New Year begins During this time of solemn introspection I wish my Jewish readers L shana tova tikatevu may you be inscribed in the Book of Life and have a good year LOVE ABBY Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA