Dear Abby: Plus-one wedding invite has a catch
Dear Abby I have a special-needs son and cannot tour with him alone I have also been in a committed relationship for two years When my aunt s youngest daughter got married last year I clearly stated that I would not be able to attend because of these limitations Now her son is getting married The family sent out an electronic invitation and required for a plus-one Since my son will be with my parents during the wedding I filled it out with my name and my partner s name I was just now explained that the plus-one was meant only for my son and that I m not allowed to bring my partner despite the fact that he ll be helping to backing me during the trip I find this incredibly disrespectful Not only are my boundaries being ignored but so are my son s demands I m considering not attending Would it be wrong to decline the invitation on those grounds I d like to tell them exactly why I won t be in attendance I ve had enough of being stated to accommodate others at the expense of my own family s well-being Hurt in the Midwest Dear Hurt By now your aunt and her family should be well aware that your son is severely disabled Do your aunt s soon-to-be in-laws know Are your parents expected to shoulder all responsibility for his care when that wedding takes place Does your family know that your boyfriend helps you take care of your son If the answer to those questions is yes then what you received was less a wedding invitation than it was a bid for a gift Send them your regrets but do it politely Dear Abby My husband and I married three years ago We both had lost our spouses to cancer He had a house and I had a house so since mine was paid for I talked him into moving into mine and renting his so his renters could pay his mortgage That way he could save more for retirement My dilemma is it seems like I pay for everything He gives me a month for his half of the utilities phone and groceries But with things so expensive I end up paying the difference and it s draining my savings and checking account I love him and he adores me but this is starting to wear on me I can talk to him about anything but money seems to be a sore spot with him and I wouldn t want to ruin everything else that is great How can I approach this with him without it affecting our relationship I ve hinted to him how expensive things are but he hasn t taken the hints Going Broke in Indiana Dear Going Broke Stop hinting and speak up Tell your husband that because of inflation and the price of everything going up your savings and checking accounts are being drained Then tell him the two of you need to start discussing a more realistic budget If he loves you he will see the wisdom However if money is more fundamental to him than your welfare it is better to find out now Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA
