Dear Abby: Paying price for arriving 10 minutes early

Dear Abby Our adult daughter has children we adore She urged if we could help out by watching them for a inadequate hours occasionally and we jumped at that We had done this regularly before the delivery of the newest addition three months ago and the kids would occasionally spend the night With the new addition she desired us to come to her house to watch them and that was OK as well anything to ease her anxiety about leaving the baby On our first visit she urged that we not come early to allow her time to get ready The second time we manifested up about minutes early I didn t realize we were early I habitually run slightly late When she opened the door hand never leaving the door she revealed I thought I sought you not to come early I handed her the food we had brought for the older children along with particular of her things and started to head back out because she revealed she would just call their father to get off work early I kissed her cheek mentioned I love you and reported the children I loved them Her hand never left the door We ve talked about it since but she says she did nothing wrong Now she s gaslighting me saying I seemed off and asking if I was going through anything While I was early I really don t see how it was such a big deal She hasn t inquired us to watch them since and when I ve invited them over she says they have plans Advice please Punished in North Carolina Dear Punished It is enthralling that your daughter is asking whether you were going through something because the opposite may be true Your daughter may be dealing with emotional problems a hormone imbalance or having problems coping now that there is a new baby in the mix If you need an interpreter to give you selected insight about the abrupt change in routine I suggest asking your son-in-law Dear Abby A inadequate years ago my husband and I were invited to the wedding of a close friend s daughter We stayed two nights at the destination and gave a cash gift to the newlyweds The evening of the wedding when I went to put my gift into the box for cards and gifts the big wooden box was gone The bartender announced the couple had already taken it to their room but he would take the envelope and make sure they got it I gave it to him After six months I hadn t received a thank-you note so I inquired my friend if the couple had gotten my gift I narrated her I was concerned because it was cash and I had given it to the bartender She appealed her daughter who described her to tell me We got it Since then my friendship with this friend seems to have become very distant Tell me was I wrong Mystified in New York Dear Mystified You weren t wrong Considering the odd circumstances you did exactly the right thing by asking if the cash had been received Your friend however may have interpreted your question as criticism of her daughter because after six months you hadn t received an acknowledgment of your generous gift Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA