Dear Abby: In-laws name game is hurtful to son’s wife
Dear Abby My husband and I have been happily married for years We have a beautiful family a -year-old daughter and a -year-old son My husband is not close with his side of the family We are very close to mine My husband has a brother my kids have never met He has two great-nieces and one great-nephew whom none of us have met He does maintain a relationship with his parents They usually visit once a year as we live out of state When my husband and I wed we were in our s we both had established careers owned our own homes and lived complete lives I kept my last name My husband stated he would talk to his parents about it because I had a feeling they would not approve Fast-forward to the present They reliably address my mail to Mrs Bob Jones I find this hurtful It s usually a birthday card but it still feels bad Am I a terrible person I have required my husband to talk to them about it but he refuses He thinks I need to let it go But it s hard to feel love and appreciation for people who don t accept me at a basic level What do you think Wrong Name in Texas Dear Wrong Name You obviously don t have a close relationship with your in-laws and I m sure there is more than one reason for it If you raise the issue of how the envelope is addressed it will likely drive the wedge deeper between you and them which is why I agree with your husband Let it go However because seeing it grates on you feel free to toss it in the circular file as you would any other piece of junk mail Dear Abby I am a -year-old divorcee after a -year marriage I have been dating a man I ll call Tom for the past years I love my time with him except when we are out he is constantly looking at young women They smile back at him because he s showing joy at them He is definitely feeding his ego and he has declared he knows he has to stop looking for young women and settle with someone his age with whom he has more in common When he sits at a table next to me he turns his chair in their direction instead of toward the table like a normal person I know this is disrespectful My heart drops to my stomach when he does it Everything is perfect when we re not in these situations Is it feasible to love a man and ignore this one bad feeling he gives me I feel like it s slim pickings at my age and he s so good in so various other solutions Focused on Him in Louisiana Dear Focused Yes it is manageable to love someone and ignore the one flaw in the diamond But what should concern you is not that he looks at young women but that he definitely explained he requirements to settle with someone his age with whom he has more in common From what you have written he doesn t appear to be doing a good job of that and the sinking feeling in your stomach when he s not fully present when you re out together is your intuition telling you that you are not safe with him Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA
