Dear Abby: I want to make things right. My children want nothing to do with me.

DEAR ABBY As a young mother I endured a tough marriage filled with domestic abuse Related Articles Dear Abby My husband secretly invited his new buddy to our house Dear Abby She s secretly cruel then spins a different story for her church friends Dear Abby After one date he was calling me baby and he flipped out at my cooldown text Dear Abby My brother left me an accidental voicemail I wasn t supposed to hear Dear Abby I don t know what my body is doing but this feeling is intense In the midst of that turmoil I struggled to be the parent my children needed They are adults now and I find myself distanced from them It pains me deeply to know they want nothing to do with me I can t help but feel I ruined their lives and the weight of that thought is unbearable I miss them dearly and long for the chance to reconnect and heal our relationship I m at a crossroads and unsure of how to move forward and mend the bonds that have been strained I deeply regret my past mistakes and want to make things right but I m uncertain where to start Thank you for your guidance LOST AND OVERWHELMED IN CANADA DEAR LOST I know of no perfect parents Everyone makes mistakes I wish you had mentioned why you think you ruined your children s lives Were you physically or emotionally abusive Did you abandon them If that s what happened reach out Apologize and offer to join them in family counseling if they are willing It might be a healthy first step toward reconciliation DEAR ABBY I have been seeing my partner Gil for five years After my husband passed Gil came into my life again We had been colleagues about years prior We consistently had a spark but never acted on it as I was deeply committed to my late husband After the funeral Gil came into my life with guns blazing We struck up a friendship and it wasn t long before it became more I have come to care deeply for him and I want to be there for him as he is older and facing chosen strength issues My complication is Gil and his youngest daughter Nicole are very close I initially sought a warm relationship with her and went out of my way to orchestrate vacations and time together Fast-forward to now I dislike Nicole immensely because she takes advantage of her dad She s rude inconsiderate and holier than everyone even though she would have nothing if not for her father s generosity I hesitate to call her out because I ll become the bad guy which she has already tried to make me out to be Nicole is in her late s with kids of her own I m younger than Gil and I know she sees me as a threat I know there is particular jealousy there but I m concerned for his well-being Related Articles Asking Eric How do we stop their hit-and-run gift giving Harriette Cole She thinks her kids are so much better than mine Miss Manners I gave my neighbor treats and got a rude phone call in return Dear Abby My husband secretly invited his new buddy to our house Asking Eric We didn t have a fight but I haven t seen my boyfriend in months His physical condition isn t great and Nicole is never around for professional appointments etc I want to be gracious because she can do no wrong in his eyes Your input would be greatly appreciated CARING ABOUT HIM DEAR CARING Continue to be gracious to Nicole As I see it you have little choice Because she can do no wrong in her daddy s eyes if you try to point out otherwise it won t endear you to either of them What you must decide is which is more major to you calling out Nicole s glaring flaws or a relationship with her father Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA