Dear Abby: Hovering mom wants 24/7 tabs on adult son

Dear Abby I am worried about my -year-old son Travis He hasn t quite left our home that he shares with me and my husband but he sleeps here only one or two nights He s in school part time and works part time which means working or studying long hours until morning What concerns me is where he s staying He refuses to reveal his location He says he s with a girlfriend we haven t met and he stays out all night long I m worried there might be a drug complication too I try to call him to see if he s OK and I have to text and text just to get an answer My husband doesn t worry at all He tells me to leave Travis alone that he s and I am crazy for worrying about what our son is doing Am I wrong about this How can I find out what Travis is doing and try to get him help Worried Mama in Georgia Dear Mama Your son is no longer a child He appears to be handling his job and studies responsibly At he deserves to have a private life and you should be able to step back and allow him that Listen to your husband in this regard He is steering you in the right direction Dear Abby There was a man I knew when I was younger He was a friend of a friend of mine I ascertained out years later that he had had a crush on me Long story short we went on a date Apparently it went better for him than for me After ONE DATE I am Baby and he thinks we are a couple After I moved from California to Alabama it didn t deter him from acting like we were a couple I texted him saying I didn t want to hurt him but I couldn t do a long-distance relationship He sent back a seething text about not ever contacting him again Did I do the wrong thing Should I have called him I was scared to do this Confused in the South Dear Confused The way you handled it was appropriate You were correct to avoid an unpleasant conversation particularly because you sensed rightly that he wouldn t take your message well Dear Abby I have been married for years to a wonderful man A couple of years into our marriage I was diagnosed with uterine cancer and had to get a hysterectomy My sister who is three years older doesn t understand what I went through I yearned children but now because of the hysterectomy I can t have any How can I make her and others understand that I am grieving No One s Mom in Wisconsin Dear No One s Mom I am sorry for your loss which for a great number of childless women is a painful one However not everyone is empathetic enough to understand that this pain is ongoing To those who like your sister do not understand speak up However if this is having a negative impact on your life and relationships please consider talking about it with a licensed psychotherapist Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA