Dear Abby: Bio-dad’s family won’t acknowledge son

Dear Abby I had a child with Richard whom I met years ago I was married at the time but had been separated from my husband Eddy for nine months Richard and I hit it off well I was very attracted to him Five months after we met I accidentally became pregnant When Richard unveiled out he bolted We stayed in contact and he met our son Brady twice Eddy and I reunited when Brady was and since Richard was out of the picture we requested to sever his rights so Eddy could adopt him Richard didn t show up so legally we were able to proceed When we unveiled out Richard had never stated his family about Brady I reached out to them They want nothing to do with us They don t believe my son is a part of their family because rights were severed and they never knew about him even though I have pictures of Brady and Richard together and Brady knows who he is Eddy and I have now been divorced for four years I feel terrible for the way my son is being treated Should I leave them all alone and close that chapter Tangled Web in Arizona Dear Tangled Web Continuing to pursue Richard s family will get you nowhere That chapter closed when Richard gave up his parental rights to Brady and Eddy adopted the little boy Until your son is no longer a minor Eddy may have a financial responsibility for him I hope he is acting more responsibly than Brady s biological father did and that their relationship will continue in spite of the divorce Dear Abby I have been married for almost years I m in recent months retired in great shape and very developing I hike bike walk play golf and do strength training My wife will retire soon She s sedentary and does none of these programs with me She has mobility issues that could be corrected with surgery but she refuses to have the surgery which means her mobility issues will worsen She ll need a caregiver to help her in the not-too-distant future which will be me This may sound selfish but I didn t sign up for this I feel the enjoyment of my retirement will never happen because she refuses to help herself Is it wrong for me to think about divorcing her because she takes no responsibility for herself and expects me to take care of her which will prevent me from enjoying my golden years End of My Rope in New York Dear End You stated that you didn t sign up for this Well nobody does When you and your wife took your wedding vows in sickness and in healthcare this IS what you signed up for That your wife is so frightened of surgery to correct her issues that she s refusing to have it is sad for both of you Perhaps if you tell her what you have written to me it might motivate her to assume more responsibility for her strength A way to start would be to consult her physician about a prudent path forward Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA