Dear Abby: After 38 years, was marriage worth it?

Dear Abby I have been married for years We have three adult children and four grandchildren I have dependably wondered whether I have stayed in the marriage out of obligation and or because I got a young woman pregnant I have on countless occasions required myself if I should have ended it and continued on with my life after the first child was born I have tolerated the lifestyle I created and would like selected advice from someone who has heard about a lot of circumstances Unsettled in New Jersey Dear Unsettled A divorce at this point will disrupt the family unit you created and have nurtured all these years Would it be worth the pain and expense involved Once you have your freedom what do you plan to do with it Specific discussions with a licensed counselor may help you gain perspective Compiling a list of reasons why you should stay married and all of your reasons for wanting out would be helpful too Set it aside for a minimal days review it and it may give you several insights No one s life is perfect but if you are truly unhappy it should never be too late to make a change Dear Abby I hope you can shed several light on my issue I swear a lot It s been this way off and on the majority of my life I was raised in a household in which swearing was common Through the years I managed to curb myself around children but I find as I age that it s getting worse I conditioned myself to use other words in the past but now that I m in a new locality it has returned full blast What if anything can be done to eliminate this from my speech Hypnosis I m willing to learn anything that would help Cursed in Michigan Dear Cursed It might help if you try to zero in on the underlying conditions that have made your old habit return Could the move to the new public with all the adjustments involved be the cause People sometimes swear when they are upset or in a situation that makes them nervous If that s true in your incident learning to lower your stress level could help you manage your matter Dear Abby I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost four months Not long ago we have been talking about trying to tell my mom about it The predicament is back when we were in grade school he disclosed something hurtful to me and she revealed out Because of it she started to hate him My friends and I have all seen that he s changed and that he is trying What should I do More Grown Up in Missouri Dear More Grown Up What you should do is take it slowly Do not suddenly announce to your mother that this boy is your boyfriend Start by casually mentioning the difference you and your friends have noticed in him that he seems to be trying to be a better person and how much he has changed for the better Because people usually socialize in groups it shouldn t surprise her that he has become part of the group Save the announcement about a relationship for a month or two and it may be less of a shock for her Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA