Dear Abby: 6 years later, man-child still holds grudge

Dear Abby My daughter is asking me to apologize to her boyfriend Harry for yelling at him when I was helping them move six years ago I had traveled miles to help The day of the move Harry didn t take the day off work so he wasn t there to help They had a second-floor unit with no elevator When he eventually did show up he proceeded to slow-walk taking out the recycling stuff At the new place Harry helped somewhat but when the food was delivered rather than continue to help he decided to sit down and eat while the other two helpers and I continued moving stuff in This was hours into the move That s when I lost it I yelled at him for not helping more All he had done in his relationship with my daughter was go to work come home and play video games He didn t help around the house or show any interest in helping with their son Over the last sparse years Harry has changed somewhat in helping with his son but my daughter now feels stuck in the middle and wants me to apologize to him for yelling I have made no disparaging remarks about him since I even liked various of his posts on Facebook I have gotten over it but it seems Harry hasn t I advised my daughter he necessities professional help The last time I visited he stayed in a hotel for the weekend My son says it should be an apology going both avenues and should come from Harry first What do you think Family Dilemma in Canada Dear Family Dilemma Face it Your daughter s boyfriend is an overgrown child Count your blessings that she isn t married to him Someone has to be an adult and I am voting for you to fill that role by taking the first step Hold your nose and apologize to Harry if only for your daughter s sake Dear Abby Should parents be allowed to send birthday invitations to school if only select students are the recipients of the invitation I m the parent of a very special demands pre-k child Daily I feel the heartache of her challenges and her desire for connection with others On the parent FB group someone in recent times posted about their daughter s birthday It stated those who received an invite should text the cellphone number listed for a change of plans We never received an invite Were we the only ones excluded If I m honest my emotions may be particularly fragile when it comes to my daughter and inclusion I do think people should be able to invite only their friends However it seems to me that discretion on the part of the parent who is hosting would be more polite and kind Parents should make a point to know their child s friends parents contact information Do you have an opinion Uninvited in the East Dear Uninvited I m with you speaking for myself as an adult who was once a child who was excluded For multiple reasons parents should make a point of having their child s friends parents contact information That information could be crucial in episode of an crisis Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA