Asking Eric: Should I alert my brother that everyone can see what he’s doing on social media?

Dear Eric My brother and I are both in our late s We re close and I consider his wife a good friend of mine Related Articles Asking Eric The neighbor mom is making weird requests of my college-age son Asking Eric The mom is trying to guilt her teen over his desire to go to school Asking Eric Angry mom bars her son s girlfriend from his hospital room Asking Eric I know what I need to do after my girlfriend s behavior on the ATV outing Asking Eric My partner says I ll never crack the code with his chilly daughters I discovered that my brother is engaging in specific pretty questionable interactions on the social feed Threads He s been replying to quite a limited posts by barely clothed women complimenting them saying he would like to date them and asking them to DM him Putting ethics aside I am concerned that these posts will somehow reach his wife or his two adult children I know my sister-in-law would be pretty upset by seeing what her husband does online Should I tell my brother that I ve seen these posts on Threads and tell him that these posts are visible to each and every follower of his on Threads He s fairly naive when it comes to digital privacy and may be operating under the impression that his friends do not see his interactions with these women Worried Sister Dear Sister Oh dear you pull this thread and who knows what will unravel But you should tell him And tell him to knock it off Dear Eric I am a mid- s married woman I have been in a deep friendship for a couple of years with a married male colleague in his s Neither of us is each other s supervisor There is no romantic connection but we are very much best friends and we adore each other We share much in common such as interests outside work We text each other a ton and have so much fun spending time or talking with each other We are also very supportive and love each other but in a platonic way Our spouses know of our deep friendship and neither has expressed a difficulty Neither of us have hidden anything from our spouses I have friends who think my friendship with my male friend is inappropriate He has friends who have reported the same We don t dare invite each other to social events where we might normally invite a good friend of the same gender and age group Is what we are doing wrong Should we end our friendship Is this an age thing A gender thing Should we say to hell with others and act like BFFs and invite each other to social events I am so confused as he is my best friend BFF Dear BFF Tell your naysaying friends to back off and butt out Respectfully Or not They re problematizing a perfectly normal innocent friendship and in so doing creating drama where there needn t be any Let s look at the facts You and your BFF have a deep connection What a gift to find a friend in this life You re clear about where you stand and neither has muddled or inappropriate feelings You have open communication with your spouses So no one who has any real stake in the relationship has a challenge with it The friends who are giving their commentary don t have a penny in that nickel as the saying goes So their two cents aren t worth much If I had to guess I d say you re right It s seemingly an age and gender thing Maybe your friends haven t seen platonic intergenerational friendship or healthy friendship between a man and a woman But just because they haven t witnessed it doesn t mean it doesn t exist This is a good lesson for all kinds of situations Just because you re unfamiliar with something doesn t mean it doesn t exist or is wrong So invite your BFF out if you want Have fun and don t let your other friends dim your shine Perhaps they re the ones who should skip a social event or two Dear Eric A limited years ago we started seeing old friends We meet them once a month for dinner After a month or two the wife started calling me every two weeks We have come to realize that they are both self-centered people who go on and on about themselves I can take the dinner but am tired of the phone calls I have made excuses for the times that she was calling but she keeps trying new times How can I get her to stop calling Hung Up Related Articles Dear Abby We girls may have to resort to violence against this rude boy Asking Eric The neighbor mom is making weird requests of my college-age son Harriette Cole My career just took off and I don t know if I should follow my fiancee Miss Manners I say it s OK to ignore a knock at the door My neighbor doesn t agree Dear Abby My neighbor loves swimming in the lake Should I mention the alligator Dear Hung Up You need to put yourself on a one-person Do Not Call list Tell her I notice we ve fallen into a pattern of regular phone calls but I find that that s not working for me Let s catch up at dinner instead You are not required to enjoy talking on the phone One last thing It sounds from your letter that you re putting up with these dinners rather than enjoying them Ask yourself if this is really the way you want to spend your time It s OK for friendships to grow change and at times fade Send questions to R Eric Thomas at eric askingeric com or P O Box Philadelphia PA Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas com