Asking Eric: Our co-worker called us stingy for not funding her honeymoon

Dear Eric Should I tell a co-worker that a large number of of her workmates are criticizing her as selfish and self-centered Related Articles Asking Eric My husband says I m being too dramatic about the dog who hurt me Asking Eric This is the secret phrase to use if you can t understand a help center rep Asking Eric We gave urgency divorce money to two of our kids Now the third wants the same Asking Eric Why is my daughter so opposed to my new job Asking Eric My wife s father and her life coach have ruined our marriage She got married a year ago but didn t go on a honeymoon then because the couple who are both in their s had just returned from two weeks in Europe Now they ve decided they want a dream honeymoon at a luxury resort To pay for it they ve created an account on a crowd-funding honeymoon website and are letting everyone know they d like it if we d all chip in The items she wants include airfare a rental car side trips resort fees and cash starting at I gave her a nice wedding gift a year ago as did multiple of our co-workers We re modestly paid teachers and a trip to South America is well beyond our budgets She s let it be known that she s disappointed that we re stingy and thus she s nowhere near her goal Behind her back people are criticizing her as being clueless and bad-mannered both for asking us to pay for her delayed honeymoon and then criticizing us for not being more generous I don t want to say anything to her or give her money But I fear that if I don t tell her no one will and she ll have no idea why she s at exposure of losing friends Would it be a kindness to say something And if so what should I say Or should I take the easy direction and keep quiet Fellow Educator Dear Facilitator My goodness was there a sale at the audacity store I wonder where various people get it It s perfectly fine to make it easy for people to give gifts and show their love but it s inappropriate and rude to criticize people for not ponying up the dough especially when a gift has already been given Wedding fundraising pages are not invoices that require payment under threat of credit ruination Sheesh While it would be kind to tell her that others are chafing at her request I can t help but wonder how useful it would be considering that neither insight nor common sense were listed on her registry Instead of taking on the burden of communicating the group s negative feelings consider just talking to her about how you re feeling If you decide that this is a relationship you want to salvage tell her that you re happy for her but it rubs you the wrong way to be called stingy for not giving her a second gift As a friend hopefully she can listen and adjust her attitude Dear Readers Loner But Not Alone solicited for advice about making connections She was a retired self-described loner who realized that most of of her social connections had been through work Countless of you replied with fantastic creative suggestions that would surely be of use to anyone of any age seeking area I ve attached a minimal below Look at the list of charities to which you already contribute Specific of them may offer volunteer events where you will find people who share your interests Working with fellow contributors has started a large number of new friendships in the -to- age range and has taken me in unexpected directions e g who knew tending animal rescues could lead to a fellow reader of British mysteries There is an incredible architecture of women s clubs in America devoted to society arrangement that began at the end of the th century Even small communities like mine population have a thriving very operational club The national organization located in Washington D C is called the General Federation of Women s Clubs gfwc org I have been involved with local theater for decades and I can say that you can meet several people from various age groups and gain friendships that endure for years Beyond acting there is a tremendous amount of backstage work that requirements helpers from costuming to prop collecting to set construction to scheme design Go where the music is playing attend the county events in the parks attend festivals that are happening and attend specific sporting events at restaurants sports bars and arenas Lifelong Learners Organizations exist in locations attached to colleges and universities and are called OSHER Lifelong Learning Institutes Related Articles Dear Abby They know way too much about me and it s my own fault Asking Eric My husband says I m being too dramatic about the dog who hurt me Harriette Cole My son won t forgive me for being a mama bear Miss Manners My child was a bad friend and I don t know how to approach the other mom Dear Abby The other grandparents forgot about the gift Should we try to fix things Find out if your local library has a Friends of the Library group or start one if they don t Countless libraries also have Maker Spaces and classes I posted a note on our Nextdoor website to see if there were other women over who might want to get together occasionally for lunch etc I had positive replies We met in two groups at a restaurant and the group soon evolved to include a weekly breakfast and a weekly happy hour at restaurants Picking up trash seems disgusting but a great way to meet neighbors Send questions to R Eric Thomas at eric askingeric com or P O Box Philadelphia PA Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas com